He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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