I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
