My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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