Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
