I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
