Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize