their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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