please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
