youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
either way he was missing a nipple.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
