The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
