is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
