we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
