ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
