somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
