I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
