Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
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