I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
