I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
