dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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