ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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