I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
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