alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
