Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
So squirting runs in the family.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
