we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
