There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Randomize
