No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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