How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
