We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
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