I can tuck mytits in my pants
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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