Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
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