dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
How does it feel to date your dad?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
