I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
My vagina just clenched in fear
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
