Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
