Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
