Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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