): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
