i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize