I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize