this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
