did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
i need some magic done to my vagina
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
