So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
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