how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
