My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
We need to feng shui this bitch.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
