Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
