Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
