it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
