and you said cock pushups were impossible
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize