I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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