bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
