Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
