Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
