i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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