is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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