oh god the rape fog is back!
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
