thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize