I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize