if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Life is so much better after having sex.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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