She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
